Saturday, July 29, 2017

Dinner Party Results.............

Well......... the first 3/4 of the evening was pleasant...... My goodness they have a beautiful home that they designed and had built out here 20 years ago...... Sunroom and decks... and i now know where all the hummingbirds go...lol I have about 3 or 4 that hang around my feeder she must have had 20 or more!! Just wonderful...... We were 'encouraged' to break into groups before supper ....while the noodles cooked......the ladies sat in the sunroom and the boys in the living room...... I thought that rather old fashioned but they are in their 60's maybe early 70's...  

Truth be told when we all got our drinks (diet soda for me and hubs) and before i realized we were separating that way... i went and sat down on the couch with the guys.. and had to be 'encouraged' to sit with the ladies........From experience i much prefer 'guy talk' than sitting with the women folk...... lol  So i sat with the girls....... and it was pleasant...We talked about ourselves... got to know each other a little...... i talked about my craftroom!!!  Then supper was ready........ 

We all sat at the dining room table.  Her hubby made the spaghetti sauce.. It was delish!!!  and she made Ceasar salad  and garlic bread and apple pie a la mode.......... My first inkling of how the rest of the evening was going to go happened when they wanted us all to hold hands and say grace at the table....... Now honestly i don't mind this..... I hold hands , close my eyes and do my own thing..... and the rest of the meal was pleasant... again talk centered around getting to know each other...... When we were all stuffed to the gills we AGAIN broke up into boy and girl groups..........oy vey......

Sitting in the sunroom the conversation slowly turned to religion ... and for the next hour or so i pretty sat there like a like a bump on a log...........  Now i pretty much do my best to keep politics and religion off my blog......... So i won't tell you how the rest of the evening went in detail... at least not here on the blog but if you are interested you can email me and we'll chat  lol   I'll just say i don't expect to be asked back ......  I have spent my life being a people pleaser...... being who people expect and want me to be.... and for the last several years well more than several i have worked very hard to just be me....... warts and all...... and it doesn't always go well...... i guess i'm different than alot of people..... I woke up this morning feeling very anxious....about how i handled last night  ... but i was true to myself and that feels important to me these days...So if you'd like to hear a little more about the evening you can email me... jinxxxygirl at yahoo dot com........  

Tell me..... when you are invited to a dinner party and you ask the host what you can bring and they say just yourselves........ do you listen??  Hubs and i just brought ourselves..... i would have loved to have brought something..... but the other couple brought some dessert...........I haven't been invited to dinner at someone's house in years so i was just wondering.........  Hugs! deb

11 comments:

Mac n' Janet said...

We usually bring something, if nothing else flowers. I don't do girl talk, much prefer to talk with the men, guess that's because my husband is my best friend and I'm use to talking with him.
I will not discuss religion or politics and generally keep them out of my blog too.

Valerie-Jael said...

I usually take flowers or cake or something like that. Glad the noodles were good, and hope the religion and praying didn't hurt too much! I hate things like that! Anyway, you got a good meal, saw lots of nice hummers and you survived! Hugs, Valerie

Let's Art Journal said...

Oh my, not sure I would have enjoyed the evening, I'm like you and would probably have caused a few waves too ... lol 😀. I think it's important to be true to be yourself and you should be proud of that fact. Glad you got through the evening and the food at least sounded lovely. I wouldn't have taken anything with me if they said bring yourselves, of course some of my friends do anyway often that's flowers or wine but I usually send one of my homemade thank you cards after the event instead 😁. Hope you are feeling a bit better about things and wishing you happiness this weekend my friend! J 😊

The Weaver of Grass said...

Oh dear Debs - sounds as though you perhaps committed faux pas in their eyes - but I am on your side. Be yourself and if this means you will not be invited back then so be it. If you were invited back and had to try to be something you are not then it would all become too complicated.

Perhaps you could send flowers or a thank you card to show that you enjoyed it.

Rita said...

Why worry about being invited back to spend time with people that make you uncomfortable just being yourself. Life is too short. I may feel odd afterwards, too, but I have to remain true to myself. You're always better off in the long run. :)

nanskidrewski said...

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Hugh Prather. " Some people will like me and some won't. So I might as well be myself and then at least I know, the people that like me, like me." It takes courage to go into a group of people you don't know well and who think differently than you, and remain true to yourself. Good on you!

My name is Erika. said...

I'm with Rita. I would feel like I was being coerced I think at a dinner party like that. I'm not against religion but it is a more private thing for me, and so I wouldn't want to go back nor worry about going back. There's so many other people, and I think the divided guys and girls is just too old fashioned in this day and age. :) Erika

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I always take something. I like the idea others had of taking flowers. I know some people like to take wine, but I'm not a drinker, so would never have considered that option.

I foresaw the holding hands. I've been places like that before, and to say I'm uncomfortable is an understatement. I understand how you felt.

I also prefer to talk with men, because I feel I have more in common with them. There are few women where I'm from who are engineers, or who like to discuss things like plumbing or other manly things. When you told us about the segregating, I didn't think so much about old fashioned, I thought more of how some religions separate their women and men into groups. After the ordeal, do you feel like you will be shunned? OK, bad religion joke.

Glad you were YOU. Now they know and will either like you or dislike you for YOU. You go girl!

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Good Girl!! I married into a family like that...girls in the kitchen, guys in the living room. I'm in the living room talking football etc. Girls in the kitchen talking about their favorite bra...I'm gone.

I suspect you and I have different political views..I avoid those conversations unless those involved are knowledgeable and not simply repeating "fake news" coming from either side. We recently left a family wedding because the conversation turned to politics. I'd be interested to know how the evening went. I would say you aren't too disappointed not to go again. After all, it's a waste of time spending where you are not comfortable.

If I go to a family get together I usually take a dish. If it is like the one you went to, I take a hostess gift. Sometimes flowers, a box of good chocolates, it just depends on how well I know the hostess.

kathyinozarks said...

Hi Deb, glad the dinner went fairly well-It is my farm roots I am sure but I always bring something to pass, even if the hostess says not too. If you don't want to bring food you can always bring just a little something, I would say wine but many don't drink anything, or even a little something you made. In this case perhaps a handmade card mailed to her as a thank you for the invite.
I would not have liked being forced to seperate into the two groups like that-that goes way back to the 1700s and 1800s lol I could see possibly in the beginning but for sure not after dinner as well. How many couples were there? I would rather be introduced as a couple too. religion I would not be talking, politics I may have to put my two cents in just a bit-but mostly not.
you are most welcome to chat with me if you like hugs Kathy

Eileen The Artful Crafter said...

"Terribly rude" is the only phrase that comes to my mind. You know I'm very religious, Deb, but I would never treat people like that in my home. We're in our 70s and behind the times in a lot of ways. [Don't try to call me on my cell phone because it's only on when I'm out and about. Sometimes I even forget then!]

But I digress. It's more than "behind the times" to segregate men and women. It's archaic! Or maybe cult-ish?

Religion and politics are off limits at social events. Period. End of discussion. Did they hand out pamphlets or anything? I'm glad you stood up for what you believe (or don't believe).

When people that I know very well say, "just bring yourselves" sometimes I abide but usually not ;-)

With new acquaintances, I ignore the phrase and bring something - because I know that many people say what they think they're supposed to say, not what they really mean.

Good for you for speaking YOUR mind. I usually just leave the "party."

Big Hugs XOXO